ecclesiastes 11:5

I often ask Seth after appointments, “what have I done to keep this baby alive?”

his reply is: “well, technically, God is the One really sustaining baby’s life.”

and that knowledge is so beautifully comforting. freeing, actually. completely awe-inspiring.

just as I don’t know how bones are forming in my womb. just as I don’t understand the path of the wind. just as I can’t always comprehend the mysteries of this life, so I also can’t comprehend the depths of my kind God who makes and sustains all things.

my life.

the life of my baby.

even the life of my first baby, my miscarriage.

His wisdom is so much more than we know. His kindness goes so much deeper than we understand. His actions are often unfathomable. sometimes they bring joy, and sometimes they hurt. miscarriage hurt, and it often still aches my heart.

perhaps you’re there, friend. perhaps you’re in a place where you feel like you’ll never experience joy again. I get it, I’ve been there.

can I encourage you? remember God. He’s holding it all together, even the things we don’t understand. His kindness hasn’t changed. His faithfulness hasn’t failed. His character is still the same, and His plan for the good of His children goes so much deeper than we know. and isn’t that so great? the fact that God doesn’t always work like we expect Him to. He is big, He is great, He is love. He’s the God who makes all things!